Dear Joel and family,
I just wanted to share a few thoughts from over the past few days.
Mostly I've just gone around with a picture of Natalie in my mind. The first time I saw her. She was sitting beside you, Joel, at Kosher Cajun, behind the cashier desk, during the first opening days of the store. You two weren't married yet. I remember thinking- two such young people so devoted to each other in such an unspoken, undemonstrative way.
I just have that picture of her sitting there. So serene and calm. So tiny and yet with a gentleness and strength that I later came to know as just “her."
I also think back to the days when the two of you were first married. The Rivkin's had sheva brochos for you. I couldn't take my eyes off of Natalie. She was so enigmatic, quiet and special. I remember her with long wavy hair that was pulled back in the front with a large soft bow hugging the back of her head. Funny how I remember those little details. It was that softness, that femininity, that again seemed crowned with some kind of mysterious strength.
As a Jewish woman, I hear a lot about tzinus and aidelkeit. They are values that are stressed all the time. Something we have to work at every day. We have to make resolutions and stretch ourselves to live these values. It's work for me, for so many women. But Natalie was the living embodiment of these attributes. They were just a natural part of her….not even a “part“….they made up everything about her.
Natalie was a true example of the phrase "the beauty of the king's daughter is within." She was a "lady" from her head to her toes. She didn't have to learn it, work at it, or resolve to do it. It was just Natalie- always.
In honor of Natalie, I've tried the past few days to practice the traits she was known for. To be positive, noncomplaining, to say nothing negative. I try and try and just can't do it. Each time I stop myself from saying something it reminds me of how special she was.
Natalie didn't laugh loud, or talk loud, or dress loud. I loved to see Natalie behind the desk, always ready with a smile. Or hear her small, delicate voice with just a pleasant line to say hello or ask how the kids were.
She brought out the best in others. I would never dream of gossiping with her, or giving a negative opinion about anything when I was around her. Just would never even think of doing that with her. Like it would smudge the pure, clear, clean air around her. That lovely, courageous, tender woman.
I remember the playpen nearby, the girls doing homework 2 inches away from her, the updating of family photos on the bulletin boards behind the desk. Her back as she walked through the parking lot to go pick up the girls. How amused and delighted and proud she was of them. Everyone knew she was the other half of you and the whole world to her girls, to her parents and family.
But knowing her for nearly 25 years, Joel, I have to say that I never really knew her. She had a natural privacy and shared herself only with her beloved, precious family. I knew her, but never really knew her. And that was her beauty and her essence.
Joel, all my heart goes out to you, your children, and your family. I think of you all every second of the day. We love all of you and have no words that can bring you comfort...with maybe only to say that your whole community stands with you and are here for you.
Rivka Kehaty
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